Reread the headline. I am not saying it as in some kind of a practical joke at the end of which you jump on your feet with a wicked smile on face shouting, “I got you!” I am talking about the real deal. Actually dozing off with your eyeballs wide open while your butt rests on the chair and when your boss is thumping fists on the table as if he were playing Super Mario. So I think it is safe to assume that you have never tried to pull off something like that. But as they say, it’s never late to try something new.
Well, in this case, luck is riding in our bus. Because even science says that technically sleeping and closing eyes are not cousins by blood. It’s somewhat like those gangs of boys flourishing within half mile radius of girls’ hostel. They are there, but they don’t necessarily have to be. Okay, bad example. But it’s still accurate. Anyways, so what I mean is that sleeping just means dropping your level of consciousness to subconscious awareness. Most people find it bake-cake easy to do when their eyelids break their visual contact with the world. So basically closing eyes isn’t sleeping itself; it’s just something that helps you sleeping. In fact with half the concentration and efforts you devote in studying girls’ anatomy, you can do away with it.
I can say with the confidence of a prisoner having faith in making a successful escape, that it can be done. Beyond Doubt. To begin with, there are some who have showed their mettle and proved to the world that it can be done. One example is Jean Reno. Not in real life though; in reel-life. In much acclaimed movie Leon the Professional he plays a hit man, Leon, who sleeps with one eye open to be on his guard. In birds, owls are seasoned players when it comes to sleeping with one eye open. Even fish sleep with their eyes open; they don’t have eyelids. In the history of human behaviour, it has been noted that people with special medical conditions like sleepwalking or lagophthalmos, take to sleeping with eyes open. I agree, while these examples may not be motivating enough to encourage you to have a go, they are still a lesson-worthy.
Initially you may have tough luck not closing your eyes. But don’t just drop your weapons yet. I have this cool trick which can give you a boost to survive through the initial wave. If you have seen Mr Bean’s Holiday, you must also remember how ingeniously he pops up matchsticks between his eyelids and eyebags. Note down this trick in your book, because in the first stage, it can come in real handy. Once you get the hang of it, you can move to the next level. Now you don’t need matchsticks anymore. Just grab a magazine or a book and cover your face with it, whenever you sleep, while you keep your eyes open. After practising it for a while, you will be ready to sleep with your eyes open without any props. But don’t go overboard; I would say it’s wise to master the art before finally entering the boss-round.
Just think of how many doors it will open for you. Boring lectures can become history. You can lend your eardrums to your wife, without actually having to listen to what she has to say. You can party till late night, and then wake up early and pretend reading or working on your monitor, while you sleep with your eyes open. This scheme is a like a financial wizard, where you can earn returns as high as you wanted, with just a token amount of investment. But to reap the benefits of this malicious scheme, you will have to step out of your comfort zone. Get up and give it a shot.
Did you know that we waste a third of our lives sleeping? Well, at least now you can pretend not wasting it!
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