How to Sleep in Front of Your Boss with Your Eyes Open

Reread the headline. I am not saying it as in some kind of a practical joke at the end of which you jump on your feet with a wicked smile on face shouting, “I got you!” I am talking about the real deal.  Actually dozing off with your eyeballs wide open while your butt rests on the chair and when your boss is thumping fists on the table as if he were playing Super Mario. So I think it is safe to assume that you have never tried to pull off something like that. But as they say, it’s never late to try something new.

Well, in this case, luck is riding in our bus. Because even science says that technically sleeping and closing eyes are not cousins by blood. It’s somewhat like those gangs of boys flourishing within half mile radius of girls’ hostel. They are there, but they don’t necessarily have to be. Okay, bad example. But it’s still accurate. Anyways, so what I mean is that sleeping just means dropping your level of consciousness to subconscious awareness. Most people find it bake-cake easy to do when their eyelids break their visual contact with the world. So basically closing eyes isn’t sleeping itself; it’s just something that helps you sleeping. In fact with half the concentration and efforts you devote in studying girls’ anatomy, you can do away with it.

I can say with the confidence of a prisoner having faith in making a successful escape, that it can be done. Beyond Doubt. To begin with, there are some who have showed their mettle and proved to the world that it can be done. One example is Jean Reno. Not in real life though; in reel-life. In much acclaimed movie Leon the Professional he plays a hit man, Leon, who sleeps with one eye open to be on his guard. In birds, owls are seasoned players when it comes to sleeping with one eye open. Even fish sleep with their eyes open; they don’t have eyelids. In the history of human behaviour, it has been noted that people with special medical conditions like sleepwalking or lagophthalmos, take to sleeping with eyes open. I agree, while these examples may not be motivating enough to encourage you to have a go, they are still a lesson-worthy.

Initially you may have tough luck not closing your eyes. But don’t just drop your weapons yet. I have this cool trick which can give you a boost to survive through the initial wave. If you have seen Mr Bean’s Holiday, you must also remember how ingeniously he pops up matchsticks between his eyelids and eyebags. Note down this trick in your book, because in the first stage, it can come in real handy. Once you get the hang of it, you can move to the next level. Now you don’t need matchsticks anymore. Just grab a magazine or a book and cover your face with it, whenever you sleep, while you keep your eyes open. After practising it for a while, you will be ready to sleep with your eyes open without any props. But don’t go overboard; I would say it’s wise to master the art before finally entering the boss-round.

Just think of how many doors it will open for you. Boring lectures can become history. You can lend your eardrums to your wife, without actually having to listen to what she has to say. You can party till late night, and then wake up early and pretend reading or working on your monitor, while you sleep with your eyes open. This scheme is a like a financial wizard, where you can earn returns as high as you wanted, with just a token amount of investment. But to reap the benefits of this malicious scheme, you will have to step out of your comfort zone. Get up and give it a shot.

Did you know that we waste a third of our lives sleeping? Well, at least now you can pretend not wasting it!

The Power of Failure

Yes your retinas have read right. The power of failure! Success has hoisted its flag on majority of the written, spoken or audio-visual creation. We are so head-deep in savouring the joys and euphoria stemming out of success that nobody is talking about where it came from? Success is not orphaned; but often, fraught with perils of abandonment, we are afraid of catching it by shoulder and popping the question, “who is your father?” Because more often than not, failure is the father of success! But like an ungrateful son, having inherited a respectful status in the society, it feels ashamed of its not-so-elite father and is keen on covering its tracks and closing the chapter on him. That’s why we see the success glowing in the flashes of shutterbugs, not the failure sitting in a dark corner.

Many of you will shake your head in acknowledgement when I say Thomas Alva Edison fathered the invention of light bulb. But how many of you know that before that he failed more than a thousand times at it? Ah, and for doubt maniacs, not figuratively, but literally. 1000-plus times! I bet, flicking through the pages of history, you would bump into zillions of such examples where initial failure has been followed impeccable success.

So is that it? The ultimate success-mantra? That you have to taste the dust of failure before getting to savour the cherries of success? Well, that’s the tricky part. Failure does not imply success but success, in most cases, does imply failure; whatever of sort. Sounds mindboggling? Let’s throw some light on ear-gripping words that Thomas Alva Edison said after finally inventing the light bulb. He said that he had not failed a thousand times. He had just succeeded in discovering a thousand ways how not to make a light bulb. That’s the frame of mind which moves mountains.

Each failure that slaps hard across your face teaches you to endure the pain and evade the probability of next blow.  With each failure you come one step closer to success. More than anything, anyone who has suffered defeat at the hands of failure, learns to value true worth of the success in question. That is if you learn your lessons the right way.

If you have been showered with success in life, you can become a good leader. And if you have been through the dark alleys of failure, you can become a good teacher. Success is a destination, itinerary to which is full of hardships. It is these hardships that test your character. They define what you are made of. Quickly melting ice-cube or ungiving alloy. It is what decides your odds of getting a hug from success. Yes, it is the power of failure!